This is no exaggeration but yesterday’s weather was some of the craziest I’ve seen in a while. I know, I know…boring weather talk. But seriously, folks, every ten minutes the sky changed from bright blue skies and sun to gray overcast and white out conditions. It was really weird! Around the time I left for the gym it was sunny and nice so I almost considered riding my bike, but I am SO glad I didn’t because we were back to blizzard conditions by the time I left.
Moving on from the weather….how about that new Pope?
I am not religious, but I do go to a Jesuit school, so that fact that the new Pope is the first Jesuit definitely caused some excitement around campus. Needless to say the religious figures on my campus were ALL OVER the news yesterday! #jesuitcelebrities
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As I mentioned, I went to the gym yesterday. Nothing to out of the ordinary, but I was extra pumped for my workout because I got a new magazine in the mail! Having some new reading material, that doesn’t involve school work, gets me super motivated! I was especially excited to see my girl Jillian on the cover. You basically love her or you hate her…but over the years I’ve definitely transitioned to the fan side. I think it’s because I’ve gotten to learn so much more about her through her podcasts rather than just what’s portrayed on TV.
But Jillian Michaels is not what I want to focus on today. The editor of Fitness brought up a point in her opening letter to readers that got my mind thinking and spinning with ideas. She discussed how a lot of times with working out she uses the mentality “fake it till you make it”. In other words, some days you may just feel like not working out or you feel like you can’t “get into” your workout, but if you just give it some time, you’ll find your groove. I feel like this is pretty common for most people and the editor remarked that she often has to remind herself to at least start a workout before completely giving up and giving into her feelings of apathy.
I can definitely relate to feeling like this on occasion in regards to workouts, but I what I realized is that the “fake it till you make” approach can be used in so many other areas of your life. For me especially, it’s helped me overcome a lot of self-doubt, negative thoughts, and ill feelings towards myself.
Let me explain.
Ya know how some people say that if you tell yourself something enough times, it becomes true? Well, this can be pretty detrimental if you are constantly putting yourself down or taking to heart negative comments that other people make about you. It can perpetuate feelings of worthlessness, meaninglessness, and invaluableness (not a word, I know…but you get what I mean). I myself have struggled over the past few years with feelings of self-hatred, inadequacy, and like I am undeserving of good things and a good life. But talking to the therapist I started seeing last year helped me realize that if you allow yourself to wallow in a negative mindset, that’s where you’ll always remain. You can’t just expect to all of a sudden change, be lifted up, and start loving yourself! YOU have to do the work.
And it starts with telling yourself things that you may not believe and may not even be able to feel….yet. This is where the “fake it till you make it” approach comes in. At least, this is where it helped me. I decided to start counteracting my negative self talk with statements and messages that those around me told me but that I couldn’t yet physically (or mentally) believe myself. For example, my parents and friends might say something like I deserve to be loved just for being me and just for being alive. That’s enough right there. Your worth isn’t tied to your accomplishments…it’s tied to your existence.
I, of course, believed this for other people and would have no problem telling someone else that. But for me, I thought I was the exception.
For the sake of trying though, I decided to be more open to the positive things people said to me and try to really take them in instead of just automatically processing them as untrue and inapplicable to me. At first it felt strange, like I was just telling myself lies and being inauthentic in trying to believe these sentiments.
However, over time I noticed I was starting to be able to accept and receive these positive truths. Not only process them in my head without being uncomfortable but really feel them in my heart.
Sure for a while I had to fake it. I just had to let my mind feel the discomfort and kind of sit passively as I tried to open myself up to love, encouragement, and compliments.
But ya know what? It worked. It’s still an ongoing process, but I truly feel the most love and connection with those around me than I ever have before. I can appreciate things about myself now, honestly note things that I am good at and that I like about myself, and acknowledge that I have value as a person.
People always say that loving yourself is the most important thing…but what they don’t say is how hard that can be. The mind is incredibly powerful in what it can make you think and believe in terms of negative destructive things…but luckily it is changeable, and equally as capable of shifting your mindset for the better.
So where am I going with all of this? Basically I just wanted to get the point across that sometimes you have to do things and think things that you may not be able to take in fully in the moment. But overtime, humans can adapt to ANYTHING. You can become a more positive person and you can make yourself appreciative of all you have to offer the world. Sometimes, you just have to fake it until you believe it.
That was a lot of text! Let me reward your eyes with a pope meme:
And as a last thought for today’s post…
Pretty deep for a parody account. 🙂
Still time to enter my Larabar giveaway! Lots of good flavors up for grabs! And don’t forget to submit your #healthyhelp for tomorrow’s round-up!
Kaila
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Todays’s Healthy Help: Covered the presidential debate that took place on campus! Keeping students up to date!
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9 responses to “Fake it Till You Believe It”
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Dude, the weather in Pittsburgh was cray cray the other day, too! Sunny and snowing, then dark and windy. I was like whaaa?! Maybe it’s a sign spring is coming?!
Also, thanks for sharing this personal blog post. I have definitely struggled with emotions just like you’ve been through. To read that I’m not the only one is pretty awesome.
I can specifically relate to people telling me that they loved me just for being me, and I had a hard time justifying that and felt like I had to DO things to EARN love. I, just like you, struggled with telling myself that just being me was enough, but had no problem telling others that they were worthy of love no matter what.
It’s definitely an ongoing process–which is good, because I’m always learning. Thanks again for addressing this! You’re very wise for your age!
So happy you could relate Allie! I was hoping someone would be able to! And I agree, life is a continuous learning curve. I am always discovering new things about myself and about others.
Kaila, you are seriously a great writer! Awesome post, and I completely agree with everything. 🙂
Thank you so much Brittany! I appreciate the compliment!
In my opinion, this is one of your best posts to-date. You’re such a beautiful writer and I couldn’t agree more with your thoughts on faking it ’till you make it. Sometimes that’s just what you have to do!
I remember in high school, when my friends and I were upset about something, we’d do these obnoxious “fake” laughs until we really busted up laughing. It sounds silly but it always worked!
PS: That cracks me up that your school was so excited about the pope! haha.
Wow thank you so much for saying that Em! And I actually love the whole fake laugh idea! It was on the news the other day that you can’t help but real laugh after fake laughing for a while!!
Fake it til you make it. <- My life. Every day. Still waiting on the "making it" part, but it's coming. haha
[…] Friday everyone! Sorry for getting this week’s round-up a little late! I did a lot of talking yesterday (thank you for all your comments btw!) so today, I am going to let your wonderful good deeds take […]
I definitely believe in the fake it til you make it thing. I have had to do it plenty of times with acting like I’m patient and not stressed (two of my biggest vices) and it does work. Could be the prayer part of it too when I do it, but I believe in the positive thinking and putting our minds in a positive place for sure!