fbpx

Healthy Helper

Health. Happiness. Helping Others.

4 Ways You’re Holding Yourself Back

In my time away earlier this summer, I learned a lot about myself. The motivations behind my behaviors, the reasons I choose certain coping mechanisms, and some of the ways I get in my own way.

In some regard, we all hold ourselves back in some way. Whether it’s our insecurities, our self doubt, or our own unrealistic expectations for the world around us.

With all the hardships the world throws at us anyways, why not eliminate one by not becoming our own worst enemies? Why stand in our own way when we can be our biggest advocates?

Today I’m sharing 4 common ways we stand in our own way every day. But I’m not just leaving you hanging! I’m also giving you ways to reframe these destructive behaviors. holdingyourselfback

1. You actively engage in self hate.

Self hate is present when it’s serving a need for you. For some people it’s protective…a coping mechanism perhaps. People feel if they pick on themselves and focus on their flaws it will be taken off the table for others to do it to them. As if they have to acknowledge how bad they are before anyone else has the chance to do it. This inhibits you from realizing your true potential, learning all you can about yourself, and building intimate relationships with others. When you don’t love yourself, you don’t open yourself up for love from others and can’t form deep, vulnerable relationships.

Instead…Practice compassion for yourself.

Having compassion and self love take practice. It doesn’t come all at once but if you start to counter your negative thoughts towards yourself with positive, true ones it will get easier and easier to see (and embrace!) the good in you.

2. You wallow in your anxiety.

Anxiety keeps you stuck in place. It makes you dwell on the past and worry about the future. You lose the ability to live presently and experience like in color. People with anxiety have thoughts just like everyone else, the difference is that they let them burden them by overanalyzing instead of letting them float in and out.

Instead…Let the external world hold your worries and treat your thoughts as what they are.

When your worries overwhelm you, give them up to the world. Whether that’s a higher power, just saying them out loud, or simply (or rather not so simply) deciding to put them out of your mind for the time being. This is called containment and it involves putting your worries in a box (literal or physical) and just letting them sit there. You can come back and address them later in the day to resolve things, but by that time the anxiety will likely have passed and the worries will no longer hold power. Thoughts are just thoughts. They may seem insurmountable at times, but they are only temporary and they do pass.

3. You are resistant to change.

Change is inevitable. It’s necessary and it allows for growth. I recently shared a quote by George Barnard Shaw, “Progress is impossible without change. Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.”. I love this. We often get stuck in our routine habits and thought patterns. This keeps our lives in a parked position.

Instead…Remind yourself that change is inevitable.

Change is hard. It means retreating from safety and exploring the unknown. But when we allow ourselves to embrace the reality of change, a world of possibilities opens and our ability to react and adapt appropriately in all areas of life is strengthened.

4. You live in a black and white world.

The world is not black and white, but many people’s mind reside in a polarized world of extremes. Things are either one way or the other and there are no in betweens. This type of thinking limits you. It stops you from acknowledging different perspectives, unknowns, and the stuff that’s hard to put into words.

Instead…Embrace the grey areas.

Gray is more fun. There are more possibilities, more chances to discover new perspectives different from your own, and more room for happiness. When you stop seeing things as either good or bad, all or nothing, you can live in the middle, moderate world wand experience the full range of emotions.

4 Ways You’re Holding Yourself Back via @healthy_helper

Click To Tweet

Do you find yourself engaging in any of these behaviors?

What’s one way you’ve held yourself back in life?

What’s ONE THING you can do today to work towards reaching your full potential?

 
 
 
 
Stay connected:
Subscribe to Healthy Helper
Instagram: HealthyHelper
Facebook: Healthy Helper
Twitter: @Healthy_Helper
Pinterest: Healthy_Helper
Bloglovin’: Healthy Helper
Tumblr: Healthy Helper Blog
Snapchat: KailaProulx
Buy my BUDGET TRAVEL EBook!
Shop with me on Amazon. Favorite products, fun finds, and more! 
Want to get FREE products for review and make money as a blogger? Check out Linqia!
Vacation budget a little tight? Get a discount on your AirBnB booking!

Linking up with TOL.

48 responses to “4 Ways You’re Holding Yourself Back”

  3. kaila, I LOVE THESE! I found this most interesting:
    “This is called containment and it involves putting your worries in a box (literal or physical) and just letting them sit there. You can come back and address them later in the day to resolve things, but by that time the anxiety will likely have passed and the worries will no longer hold power. Thoughts are just thoughts. They may seem insurmountable at times, but they are only temporary and they do pass.”
    AND I am so guilty of not liking change…I am a routine creature

    Reply

  4. Love this! Really makes you think. I think being resistant to change is one thing I tend to struggle with too. But sometimes you just gotta embrace it!

    Reply

  6. I think i am guilty of being afraid of change, but lately i realized it is great and important not only to move on but to grow as a person. Thank you for this post, i will share it with my friends
    xo
    Orly
    coffeebeansandhighheels.com

    Reply

  10. I am embracing two of the four and you are so right 2 are probably beating me up daily. Thanks for writing about this topic – makes me think about the way forward and how to break through. Mel xx

    Reply

  11. It is so true that we are our own worst enemies! I am definitely one of those who puts my own flaws on the table to beat others to it! I never really noticed until I read this – I will definitely try and focus more on my good points. Thanks for sharing x

    Reply

  12. LOVE this post. I often put too much pressure on myself to achieve unreasonable goals and this comes with a multitude of issues there after. Some great points to try and keep in mind when I do this! Thank you for sharing. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply

  15. Excellent advice here. I’m a big believer in self care and being open to change so love your post.

    Thanks for sharing at the #sundaysdownunder linky party. I’ve pinned your post and shared on Twitter.

    Best wishes,
    Natasha in Oz

    Reply

  16. Yikes! I kinda feel like you looked through the window to my mind and found my self-destructive behaviour. You hit it right on, which makes me think that I am not alone in these behaviours. I have been working hard at leaving them behind and really appreciate a post about how to get past these things.
    Most of them are better now, still having a hard time with #1 – I think a lot of people do sadly.
    Thanks for posting this =)

    Reply

  18. Great post, I am going to write your tips to ingrain them in my mind! I will also be mentioning this article in my series Article on Scroll this Tuesday!

    Reply

  20. Anxiety, is my biggest enemy. Thank you for the post, it reminds me that I just have to breath and take a deep breath sometimes. x

    Reply

  21. I agree completely and my self-hate is overwhelming mixed with Anxiety. I just feel lost that I don’t know what or where to start. My yoga teacher was saying it all starts with you finding that little piece allowing self love where I was taught it was selfish that I did love myself.

    Reply

    • Definitely something I struggle with too. I find that the more I try to actively tell myself that I am worthy, that I have value, and that I am worth loving…the more I am able to actively (but very slowly!) start believing it to be true.

      Reply

  22. […] I bring this up because I think it happens a lot in the world of health. People get defensive about their certain lifestyle and become very intolerant of anyone else who may have found an alternative form of personal wellness. This comes from a place of insecurity. If these people were confident in their beliefs, they wouldn’t feel the need to put down others or or defend their choices to the extreme. […]

    Reply

  26. Nigerians are prone to thinking in black and white: it’s either you’re a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer, or nothing, and because of it lots of my friends are just trying to fill in shoes and be the ideal daughter or son. I wish they knew that there was more to life than pretending to be perfect. Wish they would really explore and determine if their careers are really what they want to do with their lives, so that my parents stop forcing me to follow them!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

shares