People are more than just physical descriptors or measurements. We are all more than what meets the eye and our worth is not based on how others perceive us. It’s time to start realizing YOU ARE A PERSON…not a number, not an adjective, not an accolade. A living, breathing person.
Weight is a measure of gravity.
Small is just a size.
Fat is a macronutrient.
Hot is not an aesthetic descriptor…it’s a temperature.
Beautiful is a subjective adjective.
Age is a number.
Perfection is unattainable.
Being in shape is relative.
Skinny is an inaccurate measurement.
BMI is not a good indicator of health.
A bikini body is any body with a bikini on.
Grades are subjective.
Salary is not an indicator of worth.
Height is genetic.
Fit is different for everyone.
Strength can be more than physical.
Youth is fleeting.
But you, YOU are so much more than these arbitrary words. YOU are a person…and all the complexities and intricacies that go along with that.
Why do we always feel the need to be defined by such meaningless measurements, numbers, adjectives, and outside opinions? I’ve talked about this a lot in the past, but it still stands true. What really defines you, gives you value, purpose, and meaning is WHAT’S INSIDE OF YOU. In your heart and in your mind.
Our society has become obsessed with quantifying success through quantifiable measurements, through rigid standards of beauty, and by creating competition and comparison between people.
How many times do you walk by a news stand or wait in line at the grocery store and see a magazine exclaiming “Want abs like [insert celebrity here]?” “Want to get [insert celebrity here] hot body?” “How to get a flat belly like [insert celebrity here]!”. Seriously! It’s enough to make me want to pull my hair out.
Think about it, why would you put so much time and effort into being some else when the only person you’re capable of being for the rest of your life is YOU. The quicker we accept this and embrace it, the quicker we can stop ridiculing, criticizing, and judging ourselves.
Think about all the effort we put into achieving unattainable standards and norms. Really, all we’re doing is destroying our bodies for a peace of mind we’ll never get. What I mean by that is, we can only find true happiness and direction in our lives by being ourselves and living authentically. The more we try to define ourselves by accomplishments, other people’s opinions, and other judgements on our self-worth, the further we set ourselves back. You may think you are working towards happiness, confidence, and that “ultimate body“. In reality you are digging yourself into a deeper hole of self-hatred.
Constantly trying to change yourself is the clearest sign that you’re not being kind to your body and mind. Acceptance of who you are, where you are, what you look like, and what you are capable of is so necessary to live life fully.
And one final thought, whether you believe it for yourself or not, beauty is one size fits all. There is something beautiful, brilliant, and special in each and every one of us. We all have something to contribute to this world, so don’t deprive people of your uniqueness and special qualities. When you learn to see and accept the beauty in yourself, without trying to be like others, your world will open so wide. You’ll truly be LIVING for the first time.
Tell me something you love about yourself right now!
What about yourself will you choose to be defined by today?

Beautiful!!! SO TRUE!!!!
I LOVE my intuition!!! I will not be defined by the number on the scale!
XOXO
LOVE THAT! Intuition is one of the best qualities a person can have!
TOTALLY awesome post! I am SO SO PROUD OF YOU! You’ve worked so hard the last few months and it SHOWS. You are a beautiful young woman Kaila, inside and out. You stay strong and hang in there! PS- This post is your best yet:)
Thank you so much Heather! You are so kind!
SO TRUE! love this – and you!
Thanks Julianna! Love ya too!
I choose not to be defined by anything today other than my name 😀
Hehe! Sounds good to me!
So powerful and so true. I am thoughtful, and I will be defined by my power to think things through creatively and rationally today!
Love that! Thinking things through is so important.
Beautiful and so very true!
Thank you Brittany!
This is alllll so true! Great post!
I love myself for loving running. Even when i don’t want to or feel crappy, I’ve been sticking to my plan.
Good for you Audrey! Keep it up!
I’ve conversed with several of my friends on such topics. I’m really passionate about defining, explaining, and understanding common stereotypes. The Miss USA pageant was not too long ago, and I mentioned to my friend how I admire the Miss America pageant more, because it puts a higher focus on intelligence – and provides scholarships strictly for educational pursuits. But, in this discussion, I explained all the “crazy” things girls do at these pageants (tape up butt, tape breasts, tape stomach, butt glue, hair extensions, body contouring tans, etc.). I asked, “why?”
On the television screen, these women look flawless – in real life, they wouldn’t dream of walking around with themselves taped and/or glued into an outfit. They understand it is unrealistic. But why do they go to such lengths? Is it because whomever tried that “trick” before got more attention? A better result? Most likely, yes. And so the list of extreme “tricks” to have any edge continue on and on. The unfortunate part is I think most men do not know where to mentally draw the line – they are just enjoying the visually pleasing sights (without having knowledge of such extremes to get there. However if they did know, I don’t think they would be as interested, because men, on a general basis, like women more natural). So, in turn, average good looking women feel terrible about themselves, and men expect more to an infinite degree.
I think pageants are some of the worst offenders of creating standards that women just can’t live up to. That’s why I choose to not even watch them. So much focus on the exterior and not what really matters in life!
Hi Kaila, although I completely agree with this post and the idea of not letting unattainable perfection get in the way of self-perception, I must be completely transparent with you and tell you that I am ultimately concerned with your own self perception. Maybe it’s none of my business, but I felt compelled to speak up.
You preach different epiphanies about “body peace” and related subjects, but seeing your more recent struggles, pictures and posts in general make me wonder if you actually practice what you preach. I think right now the best thing for you is to take a huge step back from social media, get some real professional help and just be transparent with YOURSELF and your OWN health, instead of making suggestions to others. Maybe it’s a distraction away from your own woes to make posts and comments related to this post, but I really do think you could use a little time to gain your own health and life back.
Believe me, I’ve been in some dark places myself and I can tell you, the light at the end of the tunnel IS there, you just need to stop trying to cover it up.
Just being honest because I am a human being and so are you; humans deserve to live – and I think you could be living better.
Kindly,
Megan
Thank you for your comment Meg. You’re right, I have been talking more about my own struggles lately and to be honest, opening up about them on the blog has been very helpful for me. A lot of people have reached out to me and acknowledged that they are going through similar things, so it’s nice to be able to connect with them and support each other. I try very hard to follow the things I suggest to others and I find the more I write out, express, and say the things I think, the easier it is to take it in myself and really embrace it. I am sorry if I came across dishonest in some way but everything I write a truly believe and strive to embrace for myself. It’s hard but it’s something I am working towards everyday. Thank you for your concern and for being so respectful. I appreciate you reaching out.
I love making things for other people like baked goods. My teammates call me mom because I am always prepared and very caring.
That’s awesome Paige! Thanks for sharing!
Great post! This is something I strive for as well – it helps me a lot when I feel inadequate in any area of my life. It has really helped me learn to forgive myself instead of beat myself up. FWIW, I don’t think you come across as dishonest – perhaps a little deluded by the disorder, but it doesn’t come across as anything intentional. I do believe you want to achieve many of the things you post about – maybe you could post specific examples of when you implemented that into your life and how it’s different from before? I think practical examples are always interesting.
I read a really interesting book (well, honestly, it was only 2 chapters and then I lost the book!!!!) that posed this question about exercise and food: If you lived in a world where you had absolutely NO CONTROL of your weight – no matter what you did – would you still do the same exercises and eat the same food? Why or why not? This helped me realize where A LOT of my disorder still came into play. Sure, maybe I wasn’t overexercising, but my focus was on making sure my weight did not change (up OR down). Yes, I was getting my calories in, but did I really enjoy my food? Do I even know what I like? Granted, the premise isn’t true and how we exercise and eat does affect our weight – but, in the long run, what’s the point of maintaining a specific weight if you aren’t at least having some fun with exercise and what you eat?!?! 🙂
Sorry for the long comment. Your post just reminded me a lot of that book. Keep moving forward and I hope you are able to continue taking care of your body and allow it to get to a healthy weight. 😉
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I love this post! It’s hard to shut out what society thinks of as beauty. I am defined by ME! My body will change and age but I’m thankful for my health and what it allows me to do. I appreciate my body as it is because it’s the only one I have!
So true!! Glad you agree!!
I cannot agree more with you. As the economy and society are developing so rapidly, we cannot stop the their negative consequences. The thing is that everyone should change their mindset appropriately and lead their own let, not to be controlled by trends and social standards.
– Natalie Ellis
Thanks Natalie!!