Watch on. Hair back. Headband placed. Heart rate strap across chest. Shoes laced.
A simple series of steps that became so routine to me before runs and heading to the gym that I didn’t even have to think about it.
My “getting ready for a workout” routine looks pretty similar nowadays minus a major change. That fourth step? Yeah, that doesn’t happen anymore. And honestly, I’ve never been happier.
That’s right, I don’t wear a heart rate monitor anymore when I exercise. Most of you probably weren’t even aware that I did because I never really talked about it on here before. It’s also become such a habit that I didn’t even really think twice about it. It came with my Garmin when I got it initially so I just sort of started using it without a real reason to.
It wasn’t until I was forced to think about it recently that I really stopped to question the purpose it was serving in my life. A few weeks ago my Garmin HR strap stopped syncing with my watch. I figured it was just a one time and didn’t let it bother me. But then when it started happening day after day I started to get anxious. I couldn’t even place where the anxiety was coming from because I don’t track my workouts, calories burned, or calories consumed. I try to stay away from numbers as much as I can actually. But for some reason not seeing that read out of small numbers on my wrist after a workout (even though it would be totally forgotten moments later) put me one edge. And THAT was what bothered me the most.
That I was letting numbers affect my state of mind.
I realized then that I had started a ritual. As someone who suffers from OCD, I never know when my next ritual will make an appearance. While mine are more mental and thought-based than physical actions (like tapping or counting), I have to stay mindful of my behaviors and keep them from turning from “it’s something I do” to “it’s something I must do.”
It was pretty clear from how much a defective HR strap was affecting me that it was becoming a “must”.
I found the only way to get past my fears, whether they’re around food, thoughts, my body, my future, school, work, or exercise, is to expose myself to them. Let myself FEEL the anxiety. Work through it and realize it’s never as bad as I make it out to be in my mind. Sure, that’s easier said than done, but over time, after repeated exposures, the anxiety DOES start to abate.
I also realized I had started this series of exposures already without even meaning to because I kept working out despite my faulty piece of equipment. So by the time I had made the purposeful decision that the HR monitor would no longer strap me in (pun intended), I had really done most of the hard work.
This type of exposure work can be used for any type of anxiety or mental struggle and I use it in all areas of my life.
Identify….the trigger
Analyze…its origin
Expose…yourself to it
Feel…the emotions, anxieties, and thoughts surrounding it
Repeat…the exposures as needed
Realize…anxiety is temporary and you are strong enough to get through it
Eventually, you’ll be able to stop that ritual/behavior/habit from controlling you in any capacity.
So, no. I don’t wear a HR monitor when I workout. A simple, mindless decision for some. But a whole process for someone who suffers from anxiety. You know what though? As much as I hate it, I am also grateful for my anxious mind. It helps me be more reflective, mindful, and present. It also lets me identify with, have empathy for, and give compassion to others sufferers of mental illness. Those qualities are worth ANY obstacle I may face.
Do you wear a HR monitor when you work out?
Do you find knowing numbers (like HR, distance, calories, etc.) is motivating or detrimental to your state of mind?
Have you ever had to ‘break-up’ with a piece of fitness equipment?

Linking up with JillConyers and TOL.
That’s really interesting that you had that anxious reaction. I’m really not a fan of tracking anything apart from the distance I have run. Calorie tracking was a major part of my past and it is a road I will never go down again. It was the anxiety that got to me the most.
Yes. I tend to not do well with change so it was definitely an adjustment process. But now that I’ve overcome it, I feel great!
I love logging my miles and speed for running but that’s about it. I have never messed with HR because I felt I didn’t really need it. Glad you were able to process through not having the HR strap. .especially since you weren’t crazy about tracking it anyway.
Thanks Jodi! I am the same now! Miles and pace is good enough for me! 🙂
Actually, I think it would be good for you to drop logging your miles and pace and ONLY watch your heart rate monitor to make sure you aren’t overtaxing your heart and adrenal system. Whenever I am in danger of overtraining or about to get sick, my heart rate goes up for runs that it usually is in a lower range. My resting heart rate also increases in these cases. So, if anxiety is an issue for you, your heart rate can actually help you understand when you are putting your body in danger.
That’s really interesting! I hadn’t thought about that. I do where a fitbit HR that monitors my average HR all day so I can watch trends that way! That’s how I make sure I stay healthy and safe when I review it at the end of the day.
For me tracking is really important sometimes, not as much other times, but I’ve identified other things in my life that I’ve cut out once I realized that I started seeing them as things I “must” do. Sometimes identifying this things is the hardest part, so it’s great you noticed it and were able to do what was best for you.
Yes. Working everyday to eliminate those “musts” from my life!
Great post, Kaila! I totally agree with you and have never worn one for this very reason. Exercise is my form of therapy each day, not something else I want to measure by success with by numbers. Love this!:)
Thanks Heather! Exercise is definitely a form of therapy for me too!
Hi Kaila,
Sounds like a sensible idea to me. Exercise should be fun and putting a monitor on can also take the fun out of it and as you said change your state of mind. Thanks for sharing on Real Food Fridays. Pinned & tweeted!
Yes! The key is to enjoy it and have fun for sure!
Eliminating all the numbers and measures, letting ourselves be the organic beings we are! Love it! IAEFRR? Yeah that’s not a very good acronym, but I wish it was because I like your process there. I’m so glad you broke the habit and are happier this way 🙂
Right?! I was trying to find some sort of acronym to work with that…but no luck!! 🙁
Hi Kaila!
I love this post. I am the same way when it comes to numbers. Unfortunately, when I exercise I have to track my heart rate because of my health conditions. Although it may be good for my medical conditions, it is not the best option for mental health. I can get very obsessive when it comes to checking numbers such as heart rate, so I think the more that can be avoided during exercise the better! So glad that you were able to work through that and do what is best for you!
Thanks Claire! From reading your blog I totally understand why you have to track! I know it’s probably a pain mentally so I am sorry you have to experience that. Hopefully someday the numbers will have no meaning for you other than what they are telling you about your heart! I know you can get to that point! 🙂
Thanks! I am hopeful that it will! I love reading your posts! So inspiring…keep at it! 🙂
YES! This post is so real, and I love it. I went through this same thing with my FitBit a few years ago. I was turning into a crazy person jogging around my apartment at 11pm because “I needed to get more steps” AH! I finally had to stash it in a drawer so I could relax and not always feel so anxious.
Oh I can so relate! That was me with the HR monitor! Luckily, I can wear my fitbit without issue. But if that ever became a “must” for me, I would definitely have to break up with it too!
I love wearing my heart rate monitor, but I just went a year without it, so I am not so much reliant on it as much as I enjoy it. I love the feedback it gives me. Especially when I am A, running- to keep myself in the right training zone and not going too hard and B. Sometimes I feel really tired and like I am dogging it, so it can be an external indicator of how hard my body is working that can get me out of the mental cycle. Oh and then there is C- I love to call out to the others in class sometimes after a hard track to find out what they got. We have a fun camaraderie about comparing numbers. I think it’s great that you have made the change since that seems to be what you need right now. Maybe one day you can start back again without the “need” for it. Loved the tip about exposure to anxiety. I will have to remember that when working on fears and when helping my daughters.
I like that idea! It’s probably better that I don’t swear it off completely and instead tell myself that one day I’ll be able to use it in a healthy moderate way! Thanks for sharing your experience!
Wow Kaila, thanks for sharing your story! I used to wear my heart rate monitor all the time. Like you, I NEEDED to see the stuff on that little digital watch. But the past year I’ve also tossed it to the side. I found that if I wasn’t getting to my target or burning the calories I wanted, I’d get frustrated. NOT worth it when I KNOW I was working hard and doing good for my body. Much love friend xoxo
SO NOT WORTH! I am so happy you figured that out too! We got this girl! 🙂
I used to wear a heart rate monitor and would become obsessed! I didn’t realize I was obsessed until I tried out a karate class and they wouldn’t let me wear it and I almost left! I no longer track calories consumed or burned and just listen to my body! Thanks for sharing!
That’s awesome that you were able to give it up! Listening to your body takes so much practice, but you’re doing it!! 🙂
Very well said. It’s really about lifestyle not numbers.
Thank you Valerie!
Hi Kaila – it is definitely important to think about the role of your HR monitor and especially to not let it take over your life. To share a slightly different view — I started wearing one in 2012 because my coach was pretty much exclusive heart-rate training (vs time and distance). When used properly, it can be a huge help to effective training BUT just getting attached to the numbers can be, as you discovered, counterproductive to experiencing the sheer joy of running. // For me, it had an additional “plus” – when I developed multifocal tachycardia, I had a wealth of data to share with the electrophysiologist, which was helpful. On the flip side, when my monitor malfunctioned, I was calling him saying “my meds aren’t working!” when my actual physical situation was not demonstrating the usual signs. All a long way of saying – it can be good, when used effectively and/or when health reasons call for it but as you experienced, it’s a personal decision and one everyone should respect! 🙂
Paula, thank you so much for this comment! It’s really given me a lot to think about and I am so honored that you were willing to share your own experience with HR training with me. This was so helpful!!
I love not wearing a heart rate monitor or a watch really anymore, because it really takes my mind off of the numbers and more on just being in awe of God’s awesome creation. He has created such an awesome world, and for me, I am so glad that I can be free now to look more at it. I’m definitely not against watches or heart rate monitors. They were just more of a hindrance for me personally than a help. 🙂
Yes, I agree! I like focusing more on the world around me during my runs than on numbers! 🙂
Yes, I agree. Doing that always seems to bring in fear, stress or anxiety. Thanks so much for sharing this at Savoring Saturdays linky party! Have a great week!
So welcome! I am happy you can relate!
Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have a heart monitor for my Garmin. I do tend to get obsessive about numbers. This would be just an extra thing to worry about!
Yes probably a good thing! One less thing to get preoccupied with!
I’ve stopped tracking my HR as well. My husband got me an Apple watch and I liked that it had HR monitor on it. I wanted to know if I was getting at my max heart rate capacity to get into fat burning range. However, it was really frustrating since it doesn’t constantly monitor it, you have to make the watch recheck your heart rate. It got to be aggravating so I gave up on it – because it was definitely distracting and not worth it.
Yes! I agree, the whole HR thing was distracting for me as well. And not in a good way at all!
It’s likely not a good habit, but I weigh myself frequently. It has actually helped me to see how a weekend indulgence can affect my progress, and helped me make better choices. Thanks for sharing your story at Merry Monday!
Thanks for stopping by! I am thankful that I don’t weigh myself at all…that can be a slippery slope for sure! I am glad you’re able to use it in a healthy way though.
Way to go with realizing why it was causing you anxiety and making a change that helps you out!!
I wear mine a few times a week. I mostly use it in high cardio workouts to make sure my heart rate doesn’t get too high. Other than that, I don’t really focus on it as much as I used to!
Great post!
That’s awesome that you have a healthy relationship with yours! I hope to be able to use it for proper HR training someday too!
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I like to have some measure of performance when I am running/working out but if it was starting to affect my anxiety like it did yours then it makes sense to let it go. No reason to cause yourself undo anxiety when you can function better without it!
Exactly! If I could use it without worry then I would. But for now I’m good without it! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this with us Kaila. I have never worn a heart monitor while working out, but I really identify with being anxious and suffering with OCD. I’m a lot better than I used to be, but still get caught up in anxiety and rituals sometimes. These are great tips.
Thanks Kimmy! If I can help someone else with my experience, that’s all I want!
I think I would be too anxious that something is wrong with my heart. But I would love to try it out just to see the numbers!
It works for some people and not for others!