Negativity in the blog world.
I thought this topic need a little addressing because it seems like there’s been a slight increase in it lately. Not only have I been receiving some negative feedback but I know a lot of my friends out there have as well.
It seems like everyday more and more bloggers are having to deal with anonymous commenters, back handed compliments, and nasty criticisms.
More of those “fake show of concern” comments that are really just trying to criticize your choices and beliefs are popping up everywhere.
I try not to let things like this bother me but sometimes its hard to approach with a positive attitude. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished an anonymous commenter would leave a real email address so I could give them a piece of my mind. But then I remember that if I handled the situation like that then I’d just be stooping down to their level.
And their level is all about projections.
People who feel the need to be negative towards others, instead of handling their feelings in a more appropriate manner, are simply trying to project their own insecurities, self doubt, and personal issues on to you.
I think of it like this: have you ever been super nervous or scared for something and so you start asking people around you if they are nervous/scared too? Almost to develop a bond over the fact that you’re both feeling the same.
Well, it’s the same with these negative people. They are feeling bad about themselves or something going on in their lives and thus feel the need to project these feelings on to others. They want others to feel the sadness, anger, or other negative emotion that they’re feeling and thus they try and knock people down.
Heather from Hangry Pants calls these people Flower Cutters…and I would have to agree. They are people that try to put down others to make themselves feel better.
But truth is….while they might feel better in the moment, anyone who sits behind a computer screen and thinks they are superior because of a rude comment is nothing but a coward. And with all the negativity inside them, they will never get ahead in the world.
So for all you bloggers out there and all you readers, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let negative people get you down. You’re gonna be faced with people like this for the rest of your life and the best way to combat their bad attitudes is to rise above it.
[it’s hard not to react like this sometimes]
I know that can be easier said than done, but in a moment of despair because of negativity try and think of 3 positive things in your life. I guarantee you’ll feel better and that comment/person/remark will seem small and insignificant.
I have posted this quote on the blog before…but its one of my faves and I think it’s highly appropriate for this post:
“Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit.”
(a little crude…but it gets the job done)
Basically don’t let a little negativity affect you in a big way. If you do, you’re doing exactly what the negative person intended.
The way I see it, I have enough positivity in my life (from my family, my friends, and ALL OF YOU!) to trump any negative comments I get from the blog. I don’t think anything could make me mad enough to stop blogging because there are just so many wonderful things that come from it. And its not like I’m forcing anyone to read my blog! If there’s something that someone doesn’t agree with then DON’T READ! How about dealing with it like that? In a respectful manner as opposed to bashing others.
Thank you to all my dedicated readers out there! Your comments, tweets, emails, and support empowers and uplifts me everyday! All the positivity you project on to me overwhelms the negativity incredibly. I can’t imagine my life without all of you!
Love you all!
See you tomorrow for WIAW!!!
Kaila
Ps: Hey everyone who stopped by from FitBlog!!! Happy to see ya here!
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12 responses to “Projections”
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You are so right Kaila! When people make mean comments about others, they actually don’t feel good about themselves personally. They just trying to pull others down so they feel like they are “higher.” Never let a single negative comment pull you down — stand up for youself! 🙂 What a great post Kaila!
Good post!
Sometimes though, I feel like bloggers might be reading a little too into comments. Some people are just trying to connect to you in the only way they know how- by expressing concern in a way that gets you to notice them.
I’m always afraid to comment things on a blog in fear of offending the blogger (Such as- ‘Wow, you took some serious rest time!’ Blogger thinks person is criticizing their lifestyle, when in reality the person is just trying to connect by blurting out something kind of stupid)
I feel like blogging is a little to complicated sometimes…but I love it too much to care.
I can’t see why anyone would leave you hate comments though! You’re blog is such a good read 🙂
Haha oh I love that quote, and it’s so true. It really makes me sad to see people’s true character come out when they can hide behind a computer screen. They say things that they would never say to you in person, and then hide like cowards. I get some comments of people questioning my eating habits, but I find that the people who do it are the people who are uncomfortable with their own, or battling their own disordered thinking, and taking it out on me. It’s never pleasant to get those kind of comments, but if you keep that in mind, you can usually just laugh it off.
Love that quote, and that picture made me laugh 🙂 But in all seriousness, I cannot believe someone would say something negative about you… you seem like the sweetest and considerate person but your blog, and to make a rude comment to someone willing to open up about anything in their life (like a blog) should only be praised, not criticized! You totally rock girl, and are super smart and strong to not give the haters the time of day and just move on. My mom told me early on, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, and it stuck with me. There is enough negativity out there in the world, no need to create more, it isn’t helping anything. Your posts are always so thoughtful, your awesome!
SO GLAD YOU WROTE ABOUT THIS~~ i say screw dem ash holes.. it used to get to me but im confident so i dont care one bit!
Great post! And I love the term “flower cutters” because it is so accurate. I really agree that not responding is the best way to go. These people want a reaction. They say these things on purpose to get a rise out of people because they are bored with their own lives!
“Flower cutters” <– love that! In the words of LMFAO, "Now stop… hatin's bad."
Thank you for addressing this!! Nothing irks me more than “the fake show of concern” because it feels like underhanded criticism to me. I also hate when people assume they know the whole story, so I politely explain it, and then they tell me I’m lying. It’s hard to put it all out there on the blog, and sometimes I’m scared to post things because I’m afraid of negativity! I’ve learned to ignore it, and I think you are so right in saying we need to focus on the positive. That quote is officially my new favorite. Awesome post!!!
Gahh…thanks for this post, I’ve not been blogging long but am feeling prepared in case any fooooools decide they want to comment horrid stuff. We should pity the fools! haha. Love the crude quote!
Thanks girl!! Haha we definitely should “pity da fools”!
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