[Okay everyone, I feel silly even having to put a disclaimer on this post, but I know some people are sensitive. Know that this post is all in good fun. Just for a few laughs! So take a breath, take it easy, and take it with a grain of salt! 🙂 ]
How to make friends at the gym….
Talk on your phone really loud! Better yet use speaker phone! Everyone wants to hear about you complain about your family, your job, and how you hate working out.
Stand right in the middle of the free weights area….this way no one else can use the equipment and we can all fawn over your amazing form and physique.
Hum, whistle, and rap along with your favorite music….LOUDLY of course! We all want to your voice to overpower what we’ve chosen to listen to.
Where the tightest workout pants possible! The constriction will send blood to your head and make you more focused during your workout. Plus, I’m sure there’s a camel out there that is happy to be toeless for your sake.
Use your iPad to take gym selfies. Duck face is optional but flexing is a must!
Be sure to stand really close to the person using the cardio equipment you’re waiting to use….Sighs of frustration and breathing down the person’s neck earn you bonus friend points!
Go around and ask others if they are done using a certain piece of equipment when they are in the middle of a rep. It’ll be major motivation for them to finish their workout quicker!
Drop your weights after each rep! It let’s people know “HEY I’M OVER HERE LIFTING WEIGHTS! Just in case you didn’t know!” It’s so considerate to alert people this way.
Offer unsolicited advice on form to everyone working their way through their individualized workout routine. Just because they didn’t ask for your opinion doesn’t mean they didn’t want it!
Don’t wipe down your machine. Leave your sweat and stink there as a badge of honor and inspiration for the next person so work just as hard.
Work out in barely there bottoms and too tight tops…all your goodies hanging out distract the rest of us from the difficulty of our workouts!
Don’t put any of your equipment back after you’re done using it….other gym goers enjoy the scavenger hunt-like challenge of searching for what they need!
Use the weight machines as lounge chairs to take a load off! Your rest is much more important to us than getting our own workout in!
Douse yourself in perfume and cologne…bonus if you couple that with no deodorant! Everyone loves the smell of musk and body odor in the morning.
Stare at the persons speed/intensity on the machine next to you. It’s really encouraging and motivating for them!
And FYI, silent but deadly is the preferred form of gas at the gym…
Best of luck in your friend-making adventures! 😉
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What are your biggest gym pet peeves?
[Pssssssst…have you entered my MEGA Simply Choices Protein Crunch giveaway yet!? Two more days to go!]
Kaila
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Todays’s Healthy Help: Picked up some items for some gift baskets my mom has to make next week!
Never too late to start Lending a {Healthy} Hand for this week’s round-up! Tell me what you’ve done to help someone else lately!
Hahaha these are hilarious
Thanks Liz!
Bahaha love this! I believe I witnessed at least 6 of these just today at the gym! You missed the stranger hitting on you midrep 😉
OH YES! So true! Even worse when it’s one of the gym trainers….weeeeird.
Love your list! I hate it when people don’t think about how their behavior might be impacting other people’s workouts.
Yes exactly! Some people are just to preoccupied with their own workout to think of others!
I am literally crying laughing right now over this….and I am trying to hide it so my co-workers don’t see haha! I know this was all in good fun, but honestly, this was completely, 100% spot-on, and I love it 🙂
Haha! Happy it could brighten your morning! 🙂
This makes my morning. You forgot to mention the people who obviously have the plague but are still there and working out and hacking a lung….
And that person sitting on treadmill watching tv is TOO MUCH. HAHAHAHAHA
OMG! How could I forget!!! SO true.
I hate when people don’t wipe off machines after using them! It seriously skeeves me out!
Same here!! SOOO gross.
hahah I love these! Though I must say I have asked people how many sets they have left IF they do a set and then just sit there for 10 min scrolling on their phone before they start their next set.
There’s also this guy at my gym who would always come in and whistle the WHOLE TIME he was there lol
Yes that makes total sense! If people are just sitting there I can definitely understand asking!
Love this post! Seriously so funny and SOOOO true about many gym goers.
Thanks Jen!
Oh My – you’re hilarious! This post cracked me up haha loved it! xx
OMG this is so funny! Stopping by from SITS
This list was pretty funny. And if 1 more person passes gas at the gym I will SCREAM!
haha so funny! Other ways to make friends:
1. get on the treadmill right next to mine when the whole row is open – the closer the better
2. go ahead and take up a whole bench in the locker room – I can use the floor
3. Pick the locker right below mine when all the others are empty. We can dodge and duck around each other all morning! haha
Really-really funny! Loved these. “The camel called…” LOL
Love this! I workout in my apartment’s gym right now so luckily I don’t have to deal with tons of other gym-goers but one guy that I’ve been running into a lot lately there keeps hopping between the free weights and the weight machines so no one can use anything until he’s done. Or the guys that secretly judge girls for using weights–I always feel so uncomfortable when they’re staring at me the entire time!
yay for funny sarcastic posts!!!! xoxo
Ah … just another benefit of my home gym. Although, sometimes hubby or one of the older boys will go in and mess up MY stuff! How dare they!
Gah this post had me in tears! So funny! I literally do not know how some people can think what they are doing is okay! There is this guy who has been coming to the gym at the same time as me lately, and you can smell his deodorant from a mile away. I actually struggle to breathe when he’s there! I mean I get that you want to smell nice, but come on! And my secret vice is watching guys in the weights area lift a heavy bar once, huff and puff, and then sit on their phone for 10 minutes. Hilarious!
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Haha, this is great! I think I could come up with each of these memes from the pictures I’ve taken at my own gym! I try not to post faces, but yeah, I’ve seen (and smelled) it all. Oh wait, the camel…. thankful I haven’t seen that one. LOL…
Great post – so funny and true!
Thanks Jessica!