Well today has been a whirlwind! More than I expected actually… And not just because I got swept up in the WIND and RAIN on my attempt to run this afternoon. The doppler said there was a 10% chance of rain (and not even until 4 pm) so I decided to head outdoors for my workout instead of the gym. Well, unfortunately for me Weather.com lied and I got caught in a torrential downpour (with my phone!!) about 4 miles into my run. I jetted back home, changed out of my soaked clothes, and headed off to the gym to finish up. Definitely not what I had planned but you have to be flexible! It was actually sort of nice to break up my workout into two halves! But on to the real important events of the day….
Yes, it’s the first day back to school! Sophomore year of college is in full swing and I really couldn’t be happier! I had 3 classes today and my Tues/Thurs schedule only has 2 classes for a total of 5 for the semester! So far, all of my professors seem really nice and I’m excited to see what their courses have in store for me.
Now this may shock you….I wore something OTHER THAN workout clothes/old t-shirts and shorts to school today! Total win for me as I’ve been a lazy bum with ‘getting dressed’ this summer. There has been no time spent on clothes, makeup, or accessories AT ALL. But I’m making it a point to actually put an outfit together at least a few days a week for class…it definitely makes me feel nice and put together and it’s a good routine to get into for when I eventually have a big girl job someday.
Speaking of which… going back to school has got me thinking a lot about the future again. Scary.
Every class you walk into, the professor begins with making everyone go around the room, introduce yourselves, and say a little bit about who you are. One of the most frequently asked questions is “where do you see yourself in 5 years/what is your dream job?“. Talk about a loaded question. I don’t know what I’ll be doing next month let alone in the next 5 years….and all that uncertainty definitely feeds my anxiety.
Don’t get me wrong, I know a general direction I’d like to go in but in terms of getting there….I feel a little lost right now. I also sometimes feel that my ultimate goals are too lofty and unrealistic and I begin to question whether I am even capable of accomplishing all that I want to do.
I was curious to see other people’s responses to the ‘dream job’ question and I have to say I was surprised at specific and certain the answers were!
To tell you the truth, I envy you all. I would love to be so sure and aware of what I want to do in my life. But at this point, I am just not there. I feel like I have so many interests and I just don’t have a clear vision of how all those things can combine into an actual career! And ya know what, I’m learning to accept that.
In high school, the idea of not being exactly sure of where I was going in life left me feeling crippled with anxiety and nerves. But now, I’m working really hard to channel those thoughts into practicing staying present and living in the moment. I shouldn’t stress about things that are out of my control and instead should focus on the now and how I be and do my best on a daily basis. If I do that, then eventually I will be able to live the life I want to live…and perhaps even have that ‘dream job’.
So what is my ‘dream job’ you may ask?
I’m sorry to say but I think it changes every few months. Before college I saw myself becoming a doctor or a lawyer because those jobs seemed to have the most job security, money, and certainty. But now that I’ve been in the (semi) real world for a bit, I’ve realized that doing things that feed your passions and make you want to learn, be, and do more is what’s really important.
Right now, with my dual major of International Relations and Political Science (with a minor in Law and Public Policy) I think I am leaning towards working for the government. I was an avid participant and leader of my school’s Model UN in high school and I think it would be amazing to be a UN ambassador/delegate! But also, national security is very enticing to me as well. I’ve always been intrigued by the FBI and the CIA and would love to be a field agent.
Whatever I do, I know I want to love my job. To a certain extent, I don’t even care about the money. I’d much rather get up everyday and be making a difference in the world around me as well as feeding my passions, than just do a job because it pays the bills.
I don’t really know my exact point in this ramble, but I guess I just had some thoughts that needed to come out. Right now, I am just in limbo. I’m riding the roller coaster that is life and just trying to take things as they come. It’s definitely hard, especially for someone with a type A personality, to feel directionless….but I think it’s a worth while and necessary phase to go through. It makes me challenge myself, break free of ‘rules’, and get used to being thrown curve balls and bursts of spontaneity. Because let’s face it. Life really is unpredictable. Even if I KNEW exactly what I wanted to do in 5 years, I’m not sure I’d truly be happy about that. I’ve always liked surprises on my birthday and Christmas, so why not embrace surprises in life as well!
Just like the surprise storm I got stuck in today, unplanned events can momentarily derail you or cause problems, but they are not insurmountable and make you a much more adaptable, dynamic individual.
So here’s to embracing uncertainty, facing the unknown without fear, and having faith that things will work out in the end. It’s cliche but one of my favorite quotes is: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
Do you know your ‘dream job’?
Does thinking about the future cause you anxiety?
Are you a planner or a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person?
Kaila
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Your majors are exactly what I want to do next year in college. I am a senior right now but I have my future dreams of working in the government. I am really thinking about the CIA. And I know I want to go to college in DC and live there afterwards so hopefully my dreams and goals come true!
Really?! How funny! I cannot wait to go check out your blog seeing as we have so much in common!
Girl, I was supposed to be a senior this year and I STILL don’t know my “dream job”. haha which is why I just switched majors this far into college 😉 everything will figure itself out eventually! 🙂
So reassuring to hear!
Love the outfit! I hope this year is off to a good start for you 🙂
P.S. I switched majors 3 times in college 😉 it all works out in the end!
Thanks Liz! That makes me feel better! I definitely anticipate some changes over the next few years. I never feel totally content with what I decide on!
I changed majors my senior year…I don’t think anyone truly knows their dream job. At least I didn’t until I saw how much Miley Cyrus makes frolicking on stage half naked. So yes, that is my dream job.
Sounds like the optimal option. I think twerking with a cast would take you to a whole other level! 😉
It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of what you’d like to do with your life, which is a LOT better than most college sophomores! I knew I wanted to go into TV journalism by the end of high school which is why I chose the college I’m at but it wasn’t until after I took a few classes in meteorology that I knew I wanted to do the weather on TV. I still have doubts from time to time (especially since my field is so competitive) but I’m so happy getting in a practice run for my career through internships and real experience that I know it’s right for me!
Oh dream job. If only my DREAM could become reality. I am working so hard. This hard work better pay off, just like the quote!!
im not exactly sure what i want to do or will end up doing, either! i know i want to work in the medical field (or at least i think i do) and right now i’m leaning towards physical therapy but i also want to see what it’s like to work in a hospital, too. it’s super stressful sometimes because some people know exactly what they want, and getting into grad school is hard– i’m afraid i won’t finish my undergrad in 4 years or won’t get into a grad school program. but hey, everything happens for a reason, and i know it will all work out in the end! sometimes it’s just a little difficult to deal with when you know that that you have no idea where you’re going to end up.
i’m more of a go with the flow kind of person… i always have been. but hey you know what? don’t worry about the future (ha easier said than done, eh?!) just live in the moment! or something like that….
Do not worry one bit about your “dream” changing every few months. You’re in college–you’re still figuring it out, learning, shaping who you are and what you’ll become going forward. Have a wonderful semester!!
I know what I want my major to be- accounting, but I can’t really see myself becoming someone who does taxes. Who knows though? There are so many options out there for us!
I’m a fellow sophomore too!! WAY better than being a freshman, right? 🙂
I wanted to be a teacher from about 10 years, and then decided senior year of high school it wasn’t what I wanted to do anymore! I went into college undeclared, and just took some general education classes while I figured it out. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you! & there’s always opportunities to go back to grad school, etc. if you decide you want to do something a little different 🙂
Such a great post! I started college thinking I’d graduate and move to NYC and get a big high powered marketing job and live the SATC lifestyle. Instead I just graduated, got married, moved to Nebraska, and am a marketer at a company that is a much better fit for me for my goals and personality than the run and race all day type. I thought I had it all figured out when I started college but it ended up working out so much better than I ever could have planned.
I always find myself worrying about the future, even still, now that I am, gosh, more than 10 years older than you (!) and have been out of school, with a different job–generally in the same field–every year since then. Just now, being back in school, I’m discovering new directions, and I STILL wonder every day what will happen and where I will go and what I will do when I finish my PhD. Did I think I would have this crazy whirlwind of a rambling journey of life? Definitely not. Would I give up any of my experiences? Never. It’s all part of getting you where you ultimately need to be….something I don’t think is every really ‘final.’