I did 10,000 steps yesterday. Gotta shoot for 11,000 today!
Well I ran 20 minutes on the treadmill today, I wonder how thirty would feel tomorrow?
I was able to cut my calories by 100, I could probably reduce that number a little more.
I lost that last five pounds I was aiming for, what if I just kept going a little longer with this diet?
Do thoughts like this run through your mind?
What about when you see images like these?
To me these sentiments go the same way as fitspo…intended to be motivating, but in actuality are pretty harmful.
On a recent #WYCWYC podcast (which I discussed at length here!), Carla and Roni brought up the topic of never being enough. Never being satisfied with what you’ve accomplished, always needing to strive for more, and not giving yourself credit for the things you do on a daily basis. I call this the self-competition trap. It’s something I know all too well and I think it’s a lot more prevalent than people think….especially when it comes to things like diet and exercise.
While it’s totally normal to want to see improvement and progress when you put effort into something (whether it’s improving your running, lifting more at the gym, or eating a little cleaner), there’s a fine line to walk between being motivated and being obsessed. People become addicted to constant ‘gains’, seeing results, and becoming ‘the better version’ of themselves. But have you ever stopped to consider that you weren’t so bad to begin with?
I think that working towards goals is great if you have a sense of self worth to begin with, but when you define yourself by achievements and only want to keep outdoing what you’ve done in the past, you’re setting yourself up for burnout. There is only so much we can do before our bodies physically or mentally give out.
People always talk about how comparison is the thief of joy and that comparing yourself to others only breeds negativity. But to me, comparing yourself TO YOURSELF if just as destructive. The truth is what you do, or don’t do, does not define you.
Does not hitting a PR make you less of a person? No.
Does running less mileage than you did last week make you lazy? No.
Does listening your body and taking a rest day make you weak? No.
Does indulging in one of your favorite foods mean you’re a glutton? No.
NO! NO! NO!
You are enough. Just the way you are. Regardless of what you do, say, or accomplish. Regardless of how you look, how big your muscles are, or how fast you can run. Just being here on earth, existing, and waking up every morning to take on the challenge that is LIFE is what gives you value. Not arbitrary achievements or accomplishments.
Now I’m not saying to not set goals and not work on self-improvement. What I am saying is to be mindful. Are you falling into a cycle of constantly needing to ‘beat your yesterday’? Do you feel guilt or shame when you do less than you’ve done in days past? Do you beat yourself up for not meeting too high of expectations?
If you said yes to any of these, then it’s time to reevaluate the race you’re running with yourself.
Today, you’re facing life. You’re getting up going to work, or school, or maybe in this moment you’re just breathing. That counts. You’re alive for another day and just functioning in the miracle that is your body is a momentous accomplishment. Life is hard. Don’t make it harder by pressuring yourself to DO DO DO. For today, just be.
Do you find you compete with yourself or others?
Do you ever fall into the ‘not good enough’ trap?
What’s one way you can be kind to yourself today?
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25 responses to “Competition with Yourself: Is enough ever enough?”
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Amen. Girl, you really nailed it here. From what I’ve noticed most people only talk about the painfulness of comparing ourselves to others. But as you pointed out so well here the ‘silent’ and invisible [to the outside] comparison doesn’t stop there. I know for myself that this is a huge point I constantly need to work on to keep myself from disappointment and pushing myself too far.
One way I’m kind to myself is actually stemming from the first example you gave: I walked more yesterday but my hip hurts [injury] so I’m about to grab a book and lie outside in the sun instead of going for a [painful] walk. Rest, relax, repeat.
I love that you’re going to let yourself rest today! Good for you girl. We all could stand to learn from your example.
This is such great reminder. I think we each have to remind ourselves on periodic basis.
Thank you for stopping by Sheryl! I agree. It’s something I try to hold in my mind every day.
Can definitely relate to this! I always aim to raise the bar, but at other times it’s okay to take a break too because that lets. yoy hit that next P.R 🙂
Glad you could relate!
Thank you for sharing! There is so much truth in this post! We can be our strongest motivation and friend but very easily we can turn into our worst enemy. I am definitely internally motivated in the way that I work with myself but sometimes against myself. I don’t tend to think that I am” not good enough” but that I can be better. I know that it is healthy to push yourself harder, the unhealthy part begins when you cannot hold back. Much love, Kaila! xx
Yes! When you can’t stop yourself from constantly pushing further that’s when problems arise!
I really love this post. I am so guilty of competing with myself and never feeling good enough. Never skinny enough, never strong enough, etc. But I’ve been working hard on it and am now able to go to the gym and lift weights without it being a competition, some days are better than others, but it feel so great to actually lift because it’s what I want to do because it’s fun. Yes it feels awesome to break a PR, but it’s totally okay not to too.
Hope you are well, girly xx
Thanks Leah! It’s definitely something I am working on too! But it’s a process…we’ll get there someday!
Thanks so much for sharing! It’s such a hard balance between pushing yourself & giving yourself a break & so individualized. We are all so different & we respond to different motivations!
Yes! People are so unique but one thing we all have in common is the need to be a little gentler with ourselves.
I love this post- and the image (which I pinned) “You are enough”…I think keeping a broad focus is so important-balance in all things idea. Thank you for not perpetuating a push-push-push with the fitness manifestos I see so often- this was very insightful.
Thanks Barrie! I am glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
[…] competition with yourself: is enough ever enough? via healthy helper […]
This is such a good post! It’s such a tough thing and it’s easy to get caught up in competition with ourselves. I’m totally guilty of this – not as much as I used to be fortunately.
“I lost that last five pounds I was aiming for, what if I just kept going a little longer with this diet?”
This was my a few years ago… sadly, I just kept losing & losing. It’s a slippery slope.
I love this post – I am enough =D
YES YOU ARE!!! Keep telling yourself that! 🙂
Hello everyone!
After reading this post I immediately replied: “Hell, I compete with others!”
But thinking again, I believe others make me look to myself, how my life is, and how I wished to be like them (more ambition, more happy, you name it).
I guess this post really helped me figuring this out, so my answer now is YES I compete with myself, and it’s so hard sometimes, I don’t quit, always judging my choices, always thinking that should have…
Great post. #brilliantblog
xx
Marta
Thanks Marla! I am glad you were able to get something out of this post and that it helped you reflect on your own situation! 🙂
[…] You Are Enough via Kalia from Healthy Helper […]
Great question, Kaila! I am one of those women who wonder if I will ever be satisfied. I have no interest in competing with others, but have been pushing myself very hard for at least a year. Burn-out is not far behind. I don’t mean in a health sense, but a time management sense. Always something more to check off my list….
It often stems from comparing my previous attempts to today. This is mostly a good thing, but can also be overwhelming
Yes it can definitely good for improvement and reaching goals…but at some point we have to ask ourselves when enough is enough.
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